Now you see me Now you Don't

Sometimes I wish I could be my brother. Not because I don't like being me, but because I want to alleviate the pain of those around me. Sometimes I get the feeling that people really see him in me and because of that, they can't be around me very long. I can see the pain in their eyes, I am not compleletly oblivious. The other day I saw one of his friends on campus and I said hi like I always do, he got really excited for a minute then he seemed to get a little sad. Maybe I just imagine all of this to make myself feel more important, who knows. Or maybe I just miss him so much that I see him in me, so I assume that others see that too. I catch myself laughing like him on purpose just to see if anyone notices, they usually don't, but it does make me laugh even harder. Which I guess is better anyway.