Luminous Lips

I realized the other day that I have his lips. It all started because I was singing along with a CD in my car. I glanced up at my rear view mirror and saw only my lips, and they look like his. As a result of this discovery I talk to myself through my rear view mirror with only my lips showing. It may not be quite the same as talking to him directly, but it makes me happy.

Life can be a Drag

Wholly Cow talk about a whirlwind of life passing before me. So much has happened in so little time. I bought a house, moved, got a new roommate, had and lost a boyfriend, acquired two new jobs, started school, and have been remodeling aforementioned house. Gees I went from sitting on my butt all day watching t.v. to getting 5 hours a sleep a night and not getting a chance to breathe during the day. Got to love it!!

Best Party EVER

Last night my friend and I threw a party at my house. I was a little skeptical going into the whole thing because when I had talked to people about it there didn't seem to be much interest. There were also a lot of people who told me that they couldn't come. About an hour or so before I did a head count of the people that I knew were for sure coming, I came up with about 10. To my surprise I ended up with over 30 people that came. It was a blast, I have never been or thrown a party as cool as this one. I was excited that it turned out to be such a hit, because the last couple of parties I have had didn't turn out very well so I was starting to get a little discouraged. Now my party spirits have been lifted and I will once again be able to have parties!! That is all.

One-Upper Society

My friend and I call them "one-uppers". Once I explain who they are I am sure you will be able to name a few in your own life. They are the people that are continually trying to be better than everyone else. They have done something more cool they have seen something better or they just plain have a better story than the one you just told. It gets old. Nobody likes to be trumped all the time, everyone wants to be in the spotlight for just a second every now and again. Why do one-uppers have to get the last word in. Right after they talk you just feel so defeated, just when you thought you really had a good story.

My belief is that one-uppers have over-active imaginations and most of the things they say are only partially true if at all. I think the thing that bugs me the most is that most of the time one-uppers have no idea that they are one-uppers. Someone who is a one-upper may read this and laugh, not knowing that they in fact are a one-upper. Something is wrong with people.

All things come to an end

I just found out the other day that one of my friends from high school passed away. I just finished reading his obituary, it was really nice. I am not going to lie...I cried. I don't cry often so when I do it is because I am really sad, and have no other way of expressing myself. For me crying is a last resort and only acted upon when I am alone. This kid was different, he was special, you could just tell. He and my brother had a lot in common, both brilliant guys who would have had, and did have, very fulfilled lives. I am at a loss for words really. It is at times like these that you have to raise your head and try to make something of yourself. Unfortunately I have not been doing a good job of that lately.

Now you see me Now you Don't

Sometimes I wish I could be my brother. Not because I don't like being me, but because I want to alleviate the pain of those around me. Sometimes I get the feeling that people really see him in me and because of that, they can't be around me very long. I can see the pain in their eyes, I am not compleletly oblivious. The other day I saw one of his friends on campus and I said hi like I always do, he got really excited for a minute then he seemed to get a little sad. Maybe I just imagine all of this to make myself feel more important, who knows. Or maybe I just miss him so much that I see him in me, so I assume that others see that too. I catch myself laughing like him on purpose just to see if anyone notices, they usually don't, but it does make me laugh even harder. Which I guess is better anyway.

If You Give a Cambree a Box of Macaroni and Cheese

Some days I spend the whole day being nostalgic. Today I went to the grocery store, and get this I bought a box of Mac and Cheese. I haven't had a craving for Mac and Cheese in I don't know how long. I just had an overwhelming desire to be connected with the past. With the people of my past, with the feelings of my past, and with the confidence I had in the past. I did some exploring on the internet looking up different myspaces for people I went to high school with. It is weird to see them as "grown ups" now, because I have this picture in my head of what they were like when I knew them. They are different now, I am different now. I don't really think that much has changed, but then I look back at the person I was five years ago, and I realize that a lot of things have changed. Things around me have changed, my attitude and demeanor have changed, the way I look and act have changed. Things change whether we want them to, or whether we realized they have.

Daddy's Little Girl

My daddy and I have pancake fights. It all started one weekend when my mom was gone. I had made pancakes for dinner, and there just so happened to be a lot leftover. To my recollection he was the one who started it, but I am sure if you asked him he would blame the whole phenomenon on me. Ever since it is kind of a tradition. Every time we have leftover pancakes they end up as projectiles (even if my mom is home), luckily we have a dog that also enjoys them.
Strangely enough this story describes my dad perfectly. Some may be scared or intimidated by my dad, but when it comes down to it he is the kindest, most caring man I know. Some of my greatest memories involve my dad and I doing some spontaneous thing together. From dancing in the living room, to arguing about some nuance or another. These are the things I love remembering.

Stephan

I saw the most beautiful man on trax today. I don't know if it is a faux pau saying that a man is beautiful, but he was. I had a hard time keeping my eyes off of him. I think he might have figured that I was staring at him, but that is okay because it was worth it. He had short dark hair, with the most wonderful blue eyes I have ever seen, and a big white smile. Most importantly he had a really nice adams apple. The thing that intrigued me the most was the way he carried himself. He seemed not to realize how hott he was. A guy who doesn't realize his hotness is hot. Wow, okay enough of pretty boy.
I bought three pairs of shoes on Saturday. They are so beautiful. I got a pair of high heels that I have been coveting for about a year now, a pair of gold shoes, and a pair of shiny black shoes. The best part of it all is I got them all on the clearance rack and only paid $45 for all of them. It might also be worth mentioning that two of the pairs are Steve Madden's. Oh how I love Steve, I could marry that man for his shoes. Speaking of Steve, the guy on trax reminded me of my long lost Steve from back home....How I miss my Stephan.

Revenge of the Happy Person

I hate when I see the same people every day and I don't even know their names. In all of my classes this semester I have pretty much the same people in every class. So you would think I would say hi to them and we would be friends and everything. But no. I know a couple of people, but I don't even say hi to all the rest. It's not that I don't try. These people I am convinced just don't want to get to know me. I will laugh at their jokes and smile at them in the halls, but with no positive result. Because of my experiences I have in turn started doing the same thing that they do to me. So now I am the one that looks like a brat. A sign of recognition will come over their face and I will blatantly look away as if I never saw them. It is rude and uncalled for, but I am getting sick of being the nice one who is trying to make friends. Take that losers.

Simplicity is the Order of the Day

Why do we humans have to make everything so complicated, it is just ridiculous. I don't believe for a second that things need to be so complex. We over analyze everything and over react to everything else, we all just need to calm down and realize that things would be so much simpler if we just let them be. Chill pill anyone?

I love Polka dots...and Tiaras

I just love when I get so pathetic that I am checking my phone every two seconds just to make sure that the ringer wasn't broken and that I didn't miss a call. I love days like this. Where I just wanted someone to call me so bad that every little noise that even vaguely resembled my ringer made my heart beat just a little faster. But of course no one called. Eh, life goes on. I should be used to it, there are many days where no one calls...but then again I don't usually call people either. Such is life.

I have been putting off doing my wash for quite some time now. So finally today I broke down and just went a bought new underwear. They are very cute with polka dots and all things cute. I was very pleased with this purchase.

Gosh I love being a college student. There is something new that challenges me each new day, and the way I handle things changes everyday as well. I broke out of my shell last weekend and I went to a party that I didn't really know anyone at. It was freaking awesome, and I met a lot of cool people. I never realized that I had such social capabilities, and to think all of my life I have been trying so hard to be anti-social. If I had only known what I know now in high school, I could have been the freaking prom queen.....just what I always wanted!

No Epiphany Required

I think I just realized why I don't post very often. It is because I don't think that I really have anything good to write about. So I end up waiting months for an epiphany that never comes. But really every day I have thoughts and experience things that are more than worthy to make it onto my blog. Like today for instance I was sitting in class when this girl with an unfortunate looking knitted sweater in a fluorescent puke color walked in. She just so happen to sit in the seat in front of me so all during class I had to be blinded by this sweater. The more unfortunate thing was that she had a hat on that was a golden yellow, and just didn't go with the puke sweater. I thought of offering to give her fashion lessons, or at least teach her how to match colors. It is thoughts like these that give people the impression that I am a brat, but really I am the funniest person I know.

I mean how many people do you know that own silver shoes that look like ballerina slippers?

Access Code Denied

So I am aware that is has been nearly a year since I have posted, but I feel it is time to start anew. I am not going to rehash everything that has happened in my life since last February because honestly a lot has happened and those who know me know what has happened and those who don't can have the joy of getting to know the person I have become because of those events.

Today I am in a writing mood and so perhaps that is the reason I got the urge to begin blogging once again. I don't really think that anyone really reads my blog, but that is okay because I just enjoy getting things out of my brain and into some form of written word. For me to be able to see what I am thinking helps me to make sense of the world. Well the writing mood just past and my thoughts have been dried up so the only thing I have left to say is that I love shoes.